The Babe in the Bar

by Courtney Hilden

In this episode of Bones a woman is discovered in a giant chocolate bar. Like many of the show's openings, this happened to have the gross-out moment where putrefied body liquid came out of the bar. Luckily (or maybe not) the body liquid looked like carmel and raspberry filing, not corpse juice.
Meanwhile, other characters were dealing with other storylines. Cam's daughter was about to apply to college, and decided she wanted to go to Central Maine State. It was so nice to see a character applying to a college that no one has ever gone to. Every time characters go to college on tv, they go somewhere well-known and usually prestigious, so showing a state school is a nice change. The not so good thing about this decision? Michelle's motivation for going to the school, which was where her boyfriend was going to be at. The storyline also emphasized Cam's lack of confidence in Sweets. When Angela suggested Cam talk to him, Cam said that she didn't want to "talk to a child about a child." Ouch. It was really unfair, considering that Sweets did make a reasonable argument for why Cam should back off. Of course, just because Sweets made a reasonable argument doesn't mean Cam listened, which includes applying for her adopted daughter.
Also, Hodgins finally decided it was time to announce his and Angela's pregnancy. You already knew how the baby surprise storyline was going to end, since the writers have been setting everyone up since the beginning of the season. Poor Hodgins had no idea that everyone already knew the surprise. Angela was forced into asking people into pretending they were surprise, which of course means they would accidentally tip Hodgins off.
As for the central storyline, I was hoping that the victim had lied to her family about training to be a chocolate maker. It was additionally strange that no matter what the size of evidence, there's always a table big enough to hold it, even when it's a giant chocolate lab. (And don't defend this by saying they had borrowed the table. Did you see how big that table is? Who has a table like that just so someone can borrow it?) Also lame? Making the victim, named Harriet, a spy.

Appointment with Death

by Courtney Hilden

Appointment with Death follows Poirot as he travels to the so-called "Middle East" to see a dig of an ancient city, where a Biblical character is said to be buried.  As always, there's murder in store when the archeologist's wife, who supplies him with the financial resources to dig, turns up dead at the site.  As always, Poirot is on the case, and, as always, there are several red herrings to distract everyone from the crime at hand. 
Poirot, like all great detectives, is all about the details, and in this outing the show itself was all about the details. Poirot, for example, was doing things in style, using an interesting cane device with a built-in binocular that allowed him to see things in the distance.  Some of the details were even creepy, like one man referring to his much younger fiance as his "child bride."  The first victim's unshuttable eyes were also a nice detail, as they emphasized how horrifying her death was.  Even Poirot himself was a little creepy, telling someone that his "gray cells" were "singing" to him while he was trying to solve the case. 

Some of details were also pertinent to the place.  They made a point at depicting the call to prayer, and then later showed a group of local men praying.  It's nice, given that this story is almost chiefly about British characters, that the show's producers and director and creators remembered to show that they are not the only ones around, although almost none of these "Arabs" (a word that is itself very troubling) had speaking parts in the story.  They're more like set pieces, in someways, much like Wedgwood plates and Edwardian furniture in those houses that Poirot so frequently inhabits.   
Speaking of faith, just as is Murder on the Orient Express, this episode emphasized Poirot's Catholic faith.  One of the villains of the story was masquerading as a nun, but Poirot stayed with his faith, even passing it on to one of the ultimate victims of the story, the four children who were brutally abused by the the first murdered victim.  It's too bad that the child abuse aspect of the story was kept at such a minimum, since it was the most interesting and depressing part of the story. 

"There Are Things God Will Never Forgive"

A Review of Murder on the Orient Express
by Courtney Hilden
Spoiler Alert!: Some of the clues to this shockingly good mystery are revealed in this review.

There are few murder mysteries that are recognizable even to non-mystery fans: Ten Little Indians, The Fall of the House of Usher, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Murder on the Orient Express. The last has recently been adapted for a movie, and it blows most mysteries out of the proverbial snow drift, painting everything in snow white and murky gray, meditating on faith and justice, filled with hubris and the empty feeling of being near death, leaving the main character and the audience as cold as the winter world outside the train cars on the Orient Express.
The story follows Poirot on a trip aboard the title train. It is only through befriending the train's owner that he secures for himself aboard. Sometime the first night the lodger in the room next to him dies after being stabbed several times in several odd ways. Poirot, despite his reluctance, begins to solve the crime.
Smart choices are made by the creators. The music during the opening scene (in which Poirot gives one of his celebrated analysis-turned-interrogation only to have the criminal commit suicide in front of him) is dissonant and perfect, like the sound Lost used to signify it was flashing back, forward, to the side or where ever else that show wanted to go.
Toby Jones, last seen playing the Dream Lord on Doctor Who, brings another thankless but great small performance in the role of the victim. He gives us no question to his vileness or how he is used to getting what he wants, but leaves us to ponder his repentance. David Morrissey and Hugh Bonneville also give their normal level of top-notch performing.
There are even brief moments of humor in an otherwise deeply serious film. At one point a character uses the word “Bastard” and then apologizes, asking everyone to excuse “her French.” “It is indeed a French word,” Poirot replies.
Thematically, the connection between faith and justice is made. Poirot, a Catholic, believes in justice through the courts, yet many of the other train passengers clearly believe in picking up where God, if he exists or not, exacting revenge. Shots of rosaries, one of the few things that could logically be on a train are used throughout. The thing that is particularly smart about all of this is that the story never makes a blatant judgment on the moral standings of these characters. It would be easy to descent into this, but by making no one right and no one wrong, the audience if left to contemplate the nature of right and wrong on their own. Films without answers are always the ones that stay with us the longest, and, even though the mystery of who murdered the train passenger is solved, the mystery of what is right and wrong, of what God asks us to do, and what justice really is remain as mysterious as the murder was in the beginning.

In most films with this kind of moral conundrum, the murderers would then be shown as self-made monsters, who, now that they have taken the law into their hands once are willing to do it once again. Instead, they wisely speak to one another, as a counsel, as their own appointed God, and this leaves their previous actions look all the more noble, since they are capable of sticking themselves to a very hard, though different from Poirot’s, moral standard.
It's not a flawless film. Poirot's habit of speaking in third person is still irritating.
The film also flirts around an Imperialist interpretation of the so-called Middle East. Turkey, where the film begins, is depicted with every stereotype of the region you can think of: violent, hateful towards women and uncivilized.
Poirot himself has always been the weakest thing about these outings. These days, with characters on tv on other mystery shows like Bones, Law and Order, CSI, etc. that contain detectives as dark, interesting and surprising as their suspects, it's no longer acceptable to have detectives who blandly sit in as the observer for the audience. They have to being going through something during the crimes, they have to be emotionally invested, and, if possible, dark and just barely able to put on the show of being okay.
Poirot, despite the revelation at the end, stays as static at the end of the film as he was at the beginning. He’s shaken, sure, but he shows no signs of changing his views. He’s just as much as an unfeeling and severe hardass at the beginning as he is at the end. No matter how glazed over his eyes are through much of the film or the waterworks that happens at the end, the audience is left with no question as to his unbowed point of view. What would be really fun to watch is him changing his mind, or even better, changing how he handles crime. As chilling as the weather or the crime in this story, nothing is as chilly as someone unable to consider the other side’s argument. No one wants to watch a guy so hard-wound that he specifies to waiters that he wants his eggs to be the exact same size.

Chuck Versus the Subway and the Ring

by Courtney Hilden
Spoiler Alert: This review references the end of the episode and the third season of Chuck.
Another day, another season finale. Tonight: Chuck.
Our story picks up with Chuck seeing Shaw, the arch-nemesis for the night, and following him to a CIA-run base. Chuck runs into his sister, being held there by Justin, who discovers that yes, indeed, her brother is a spy. Chuck also walks into a meeting discussing the intersect, where he manages to embarrass the entire team and put the project in jeopardy. Oh, and Shaw is turning the CIA into collaborating unknowingly with the Ring, jailing Beckman and threatening Alex's life. This is a bad day, even for Chuck.
It's nice to see Alex again. I've been hoping for a continuing storyline involving her and her Dad, John Casey. While it was disappointed to not see the Mom make another appearance, I'm still hoping for a reunion of the three of them. One of the better moments was John frequenting the dinner where Alex worked, though it's too bad that this wasn't established for us early on, so that we knew he was seeing her. Though the kidnapping thing was great.
This episode also had a lot of subways, both hiding dastardly Ring bases and delicious breakfast sandwiches for Big Mike to eat. Nice, unsubtle plugs there.
There were also some great lines tonight, including Morgan's "No plan? That's never stopped me before." (Too true.) Chuck's throw away line of "She's going to be so mad at me if I die," was perfectly delivered. One of the greatest was definitely Shaw's sardonic "Muwahaha," which could easily turn into a catchphrase.
Some of these great lines were also awesomely terrible, like Lester's come on to Alex, involving a reference to Empire Records, or like Jeff's line about Ellie being like Chuck, just "with lady parts." Jeff's answer of "Pineapple" to "What are you thinking?" was amazing. Best part of some of these lines? Lester, once again proving that acting is reacting. (Oh, and that Jeffster video? Amazing. They should totally play Comic Con.) As always, there were shinning comedic moments, particularly Morgan licking his phone and breaking his thumbs, and still failing to save the day.
Though, of course, one of the most shocking things about this entire episode was that they shot Chuck's Dad. I figured they were going to keep him on the show for years to come, especially since that actor has so much nerd cred, but it made sense to kill him for the larger storyline. Zachary Levi's slow-mo headshake of denial was perfect. And it was heartbreaking to see Ellie watch her own father's death.
The beginning of the second part of the finale where Ellie's Dad asks her to take care of her brother was great. As the eldest sibling, I can tell you that parents totally put you on the guilt trip when you're young, and it ruins you for life. You spend all your time watching your siblings like a hawk and going to therapy. I like that the flashback also allowed the audience to see the first time that Chuck's Dad realized his son could probably handle being the intersect.
The fight scene near the end was explosive and fun and did a great job of incorporating Jeffster's music video. Levi is much more fit than the show would usually have you believe. I'm still not sure how I feel about the reboot thing. It makes sense, and it works, but I'm afraid that the show will use it as a deus ex machina too often, as it was in this episode, though it might be interesting to see what happens if the team attempts to force a reboot of Chuck's computer-like brain.
I was also really intrigued by the brief discussions of choice in this episode. Choice isn't something that's discussed a lot; in fact, most of the time, they discuss how Chuck didn't have a choice about first becoming a spy. It's nice to see Chuck realizes that he did make choices in the course of the show and do something about it.
One of the disappointing things to see was that, once again, Chuck's heart is what makes him weak. We get it writers! You don't have to distinguish Chuck from his fellow spies; he's already the main character of a show. Though watching Shaw's annoyed look as he discovered that Chuck has accidentally infiltrated his other base was priceless.
Although I like the idea of Morgan chasing after Alex and Casey being none too happy about it, Alex and Morgan would not work as a couple. Morgan is at his best when he's single. And Alex is way too adorable.
You knew the moment Mike, Jeff and Lester were dealing with the possible closedown of the Buy More that it was going to go up in flames. I'm also saddened to see that they put Jeff and Lester on the run. I really hope this doesn't mean that these two aren't coming back to the show, particularly Lester, who is pitch perfect and more consistently brings the funny than Morgan.
I'm also a little annoyed by the whole "burn" thing. The entire series no one's mentioned getting burned, but apparently they are this finale. What, have the writers been watching Burn Notice?
The show could have ended at the break in-between the two episodes, where Chuck, Sarah and Casey in a detention facility for the summer, since it would be a good way to leave the audience wondering what would happen next.
Also on that note, I think it's clear at this point that Chuck's not going to keep his promise. The audience already knows, given Chuck's history and the fact this is a spy comedy that there was no way Chuck was going to stop being a spy. So they shouldn't even ask us to try to believe that was ever going to happen. It was also unrealistic how forgiving Chuck and Ellie have been of their father. Normal abandoned children do not behave like those too, particularly Ellie. She should be incapable of having a relationship with anyone, and shouldn't trust anyone.
The reappearance of Chuck's Mom at the end of the episode was also predictable. If she's a spy, as the end seemed to imply, really, I doubt anyone watching this show will be surprised. (Let me guess a little further: that's how Chuck's parents met: in the spy biz.)
It'll be interesting to see what happens now that both Ellie and Awesome know Chuck's true identity. I was hoping that maybe Awesome's revelations about knowing so much more than Ellie would drive them apart, since this duo needs a change-up.
Daniel Shaw has also managed to become not only the worst, most psychotic ex-boyfriend but the best villain of the show. No one would have never guessed that Superman would be so delightfully evil, but he is. I want them to bring him back as a continuing menace to Chuck and Sarah and Casey. They only thing not believable concerning Shaw is that he apparently has terrible aim, which is hard to believe, considering he's a top CIA agent.
I also like the idea of intersects eventually becoming a more normal thing as the show goes on. Wouldn't it be great if Alex became a regular member of the show and then an intersect herself, which would lead to Chuck trying to train Alex as an intersect, inevitably dealing once again with his own failings as a spy? That could make great tv, though if Alex just getting a job at the Buy More, it would be awkward and fun, since she would be working with her Dad, a known killer.
Speaking of great ideas for this show, Lester would make a wonderful Buy More manager. He's so crazy and evil that working for him might be legitimately scary. His schemes to get more money would be worth putting him the position.
I'd also like to see more of Chuck sans Governator watch. It would be interesting to see Chuck with deteriorating flashes but somehow is a better spy, since he's less predictable. It's too bad his bad flashes were not a little more like the flashes Frank Black used to get on Millennium, though I enjoyed the fetus image that cropped up.
Those phones the Ring operatives use should be in stores, but so far, there's been no marketing pitch. I love that they also apparently text, making them sort of the perfect tie in with the show.
Some final thoughts: This show does a great job at making hot actors (Zachary Levi and Vic Sahay in particular) look way nerdy than they are. Although this is nice and works with the show, it would be nice to take a moment or two to admire how truly adorable they are.
I'm increasingly of the mind that the show's end game is to make Chuck and Sarah run away, since it seems to have become a major theme for the show. I'm not sure how I feel about that as a possible ending. I'm sort of ambivalent about it.
Overall, I would say that it was a solid final for a show, though not as good as the endings for the show in year's past. Guess that's what happens when you guarantee it'll be back next year.